Mission Statement

Baker’s Acres Mission

It is our greatest desire to provide our customers with top quality, well-grown plant material at a fair and honest price. We will strive to provide an unmatched selection of old favorites and underused, hard-to-find items, along with the newest varieties on the market. We will eagerly share our horticultural knowledge gained from years of education and experience. Lastly, we offer all this in a spirit of fun and lightheartedness.

Funny Statements

SPANISH MISSION STATEMENT
Es nuestro mayor deseo el ofrecerle a nuestros clientes una calidad de primera en nuestras plantas a un precio justo y honesto. Nuestra compania hace todo lo possible para proveer a nuestra clientera con una seleccion incomparable de variedades favoritas y no comunes, junto a nuevas variedades en el mercado. Gratamente compartiremos nuestros conocimientos en horticultura obtenidos por una educacion y experiencia con nuestra clientera. Y finalmente ofresemos todo esto en un espiritu de alegria y felicidad.

TRANSMISSION STATEMENT
The transmission is one of those black, greasy items you would see if you crawled under your car and looked up. It’s kind of important when you want your car to move forward or backward but has nothing to do with any sideways or vertical motion. Experience of the latter two motions should be cause for concern.

EMISSION STATEMENT
This past year’s elections resulted in copious amounts of gaseous emissions but it was nowhere near the output from our big yellow dog. Please, someone help us!

SUBMISSION STATEMENT
Our radio ads, our email newsletter, this catalog, and even our greenhouse music are all filled with subliminal messages designed to force you to submit to our will. You will buy plants until your car is full. You will tell all your friends about us. You will think we look like movie stars. Just kidding! We really don’t do that……..or do we?

APPARITION STATEMENT
Apparition is a fancy word for ghost. That reminds me of the couple who had a ‘Sixth Sense’ open marriage. They were both free to see dead people.

INTERMISSION STATEMENT
This intermission may be used at any time during the reading of this catalog. Feel free to use the restroom facilities or visit the snack bar for refreshments. When the house lights are dimmed, please return to your seat in a timely manner and resume reading. Thank you, The Management.

TITIAN STATEMENT
As any good student of art will tell you, Titian was a famous and influential painter from the Italian Renaissance period known for his brilliant use of color. He was a member of the 16th-century Venetian School, often donating his paintings for the PTO fundraising raffles.
RE-MISSION STATEMENT
The act of certain people redefining ‘Mission Statement’ over and over, ad nauseum.

OMISSION STATEMENT
Due to space limitations again, this year’s Omission Statement has been omitted.

Team Work

The way we see it, customers and staff are all on the same team and we both have important jobs.

YOUR JOBS

  • Come here with a smile
  • Wear proper shoes and appropriate clothing
  • Ask questions so you can be successful gardeners

OUR JOBS

  • Come here with a smile
  • Wear proper shoes and appropriate clothing (Baker’s Acres shirts)
  • Answer questions so you can be successful gardeners

Hey, wait a minute. These two lists are almost the same. The big difference is you guys get the best parking spaces.